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You and Me
I close my eyes and I see you and your jolly smile.
You accepted me and liked me just because of you.
I miss you grandma, but I haven’t seen you in awhile.
Please hold on. I’m coming. I might know what to do.
When my Mom said she doesn’t talk to you no more,
I didn’t understand why and I encouraged her to call.
I think she did. I think she repaired what was broken,
But all I remember is you made me feel ten feet tall.
My other grandparents are long gone
And these days I don’t feel so strong.
I’m up and I’m down. I’m real and I’m sad.
I’ve been betrayed. I’m hurt and I’m mad.
I want to hold you one more time in my arms.
I want to feel your sweet love and your charms.
I’ll give you anything I have, but I don’t have much.
I only have me, this aging body and my warm touch.
I know we all have to go and shine on one day
And I can’t tell you now that I know what to say.
I haven’t been there and I may not know the way,
But we ain’t so different. We’re both in a wild fray.
This world is so connected now. It’s getting a lil scary.
In 2011, I can list about 10 people who tried to kill me.
We’re caught in between myths and the light of truth.
I’m on a new path now and I’m walking without Ruth.
I feel so sick, but you know I’m probably all right.
There’s a pit in my stomach and it clouds my sight.
I’m scratching my head, pushing with all my might.
I’m a strong boy like my gma, so let’s stand and fight.
What could have been puzzles me and keeps me up.
I’m redeeming the time and I’m filling up my own cup.
I don’t know so much and it begins to make me upset.
Pride kills us all and sometimes I wake up in a sweat.
I need some shelter from the storm and I need some peace,
But my needs are secondary now; everything but my lease.
My plans are golden and my intentions are very good
And I know I’ll be rewarded as I keep living like I should.
I’m really not worried about the future or what my enemies can do.
I just want to put everything on hold, so I can come and be with
you.
Please hold on. I miss you and love you. I won’t say what isn’t
true.
Everything must end at some point, just like this poem.
We came into this world solamente and we leave it alone.
Let’s not be sad or angry at what we’ve been told.
We knew from the start we were gonna grow old.
I still believe there’s something more and I cannot fathom
non-existence.
I don’t believe life came from non-life because it doesn’t make any
sense.
I have no idea how this ends or what will happen after the lights go
out,
But I say we lift our heads high and we let out a loud, victorious
shout!
I’m not going to lecture anyone or begin to tell people what life’s
about.
I just want to look up and look straight and know the truth without
a doubt.
Be good. Be smart. Use all the time you have. Please don’t cry or
pout.
We’ll get through this. We’ll reach the other side.
We’ll win in the end and we’ll let go of our pride.
The door is a new beginning and it’s the end of pain.
Maybe there’ll be a new life without the infectious reign.
Maybe there are better people there who aren’t insane.
Whatever the case may be,
We’ll have to wait and see.
I appreciate you for being you
And for always letting me be me.
Good night, grandma.
(This poem was written on
November 24, 2011.)
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