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Reasons To Be Beautiful
It puzzles me how a
spouse's love grows cold
I never thought I'd be alone in this world again
I thought she'd be with me until we were old
Raised by fundamentalist
extremists
We were taught divorce was anathema
Now there's a big wall between us
All my eggs were in one
big basket
And the basket is long gone now
I'm thinking about life and tomorrow
I'm wondering when, why and how
I've been to hell and back
And I know far too much
I've seen actors of all stripes
Along with morons and such
I've seen more than I've
ever wanted to see
And I know more than I've wanted to know
In my wet shell, I finally felt the decline
And I'm creating as I see where we'll go
I think I was taught
things in a weird way
It's hard to articulate, very hard to say
But I learned peculiar things every day
Like YEC, Bible, chapel and how to pray
Being an only child didn't
help things very much
Disconnected from my Dad, I loved Mom's touch
I felt calm and peaceful around her most of the time
I never understood my Dad or what was in his mind
If Mom didn't give her
away, we would have been friends
My sister is out there somewhere, on the whistling winds
I hope one day I'll find her and know what she's like
We'll talk and laugh, smile and sing and take a hike
I have reasons to hate
some people
And make a vicious plan like theirs
I know who I was the past 6 years
So I cast on the 12 all of my cares
The funky fundy foolhardy army blows
And it won't be long before everyone knows
I won't get cynical or think the world is like them
They're top notch assholes like none other on Earth
I've seen them in action, fucking up like bastards
I know how much their hypocritical faith is worth
They were jealous of me
from the very beginning
They wanted what I had, but they couldn't steal it
The only way they're gonna get it is if it comes
Signed, sealed, delivered in a little plastic kit
Seriously, sometimes I wanna stop by their house
And light a bag full of dog shit (or human shit)
They're just gigantic assholes the size of Saturn
The sad kind of people who will never really learn
I thought I had cancer for
awhile
Someone even said I looked gaunt
I'm only depressed and anxious
Near still waters, what could I want?
My fundy family has left me for dead
I'm busying writing and making a font.
When I was in the cage, I
knew this would take time
I saw opportunity, a second chance at a better rhyme
She had the heart to heart with me
We both knew we'd be better free
Tonight I got over her
because of her silence
I have my dignity and pride and much more
I accept it's over and wonder if I'd take her back
Who knows, but I can't call her a loose whore
I have to be nice and hold
my head high
I did a good job and gave it my best try
What else could I possibly have done?
She probably saw one year from day one.
My 40 day fast gave me a whole decade
And I hung on hard to our lovely charade
I won't use my wit to hop
back in my old shoe
But I want you to know, it's something I could do
I want to be mature like I was the day we split
Just don't say we never had fun cuz that's bullshit
You were my queen and I worshiped you well
I focused on you and the rest could go to hell
Give me no credit now and run as fast as you can
But you know I was yours and one hell of a man
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